"You're already falling in love with me," said advertising executive Benjamin Berry as he watched his new love prospect Andie Anderson get in a cab and leave his house. "I'm going to make you wish you were dead," Andie said under her breath as she glanced up at Ben after an exciting and chemistry-filled night with the ad executive. How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days (2003) is a romantic comedy staple of most females between the ages 16 and 100 because of the hilarious, loveable, and ridiculous storyline between Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson) and Ben Berry (Matthew McConaughey.) Both Andie and Ben engage in a ten day relationship challenge with the goal of career advancement, but the ironic twist is that neither of them knows that the other one has ulterior motives as well. Andie is writing a how-to column for Composure magazine, which we assume is a women's magazine similar to that of Cosmopolitan. The post is entitled "How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days" and details Andie committing every crazy, emotional crime that women commit in relationships that makes guys run. Ben is trying to make Andie fall in love with him in under ten days to show how he is in touch with what women want and advertise for fine jewelry. An analysis of three of the main scenes from this movie both reinforce and contradict common sexual scripts seen in the media today.
"How It's Done"
This scene entitled "And That's How It's Done" features a phone conversation between Andie and Ben the day following their first encounter. Andie had purposefully left her purse at Ben's apartment with two Knicks basketball tickets in them to ensure that he called her the next day. Ben found the tickets and sent a huge display of roses to Andie at her apartment, hoping that she would take him to the Knicks game. Ben calls her, and Andie agrees to take him to the basketball game, leaving both of them feeling that they had strategically manipulated the other to get what they wanted, which is evident when they both say, "And That's How It's Done."
This scene contradicts many dating scripts commonly seeen in the media by portraying Andie and Benjamin as equals in the relationship. Most other examples of dating in the media portray the man as the one in power, actively initiating and planning the date and the woman simply reacting. This idea is reflected in the results of Rose and Frieze's 1993 study about dating scripts:
Men’s proactive role encompassed initiating the date (asking for and planning it),
controlling the public domain (driving and opening doors), and starting sexual
interaction (initiating physical contact, making out, kissing goodnight). Women’s
reactive role focused on the private domain (concern about appearance, enjoy-
ing the date), participating in the structure of the date provided by the man
(being picked up, having doors opened), and responding to his sexual overtures.
Andie, the one with the Knicks tickets, holds the ultimate power in the planning of the date because she can choose who take with her, which results in Ben begging her to take him. In a more traditional example, the male would bear the tickets and ask the woman to accompany her. Ben, who is more motivated by floor seats to a big sporting event than interest in Andie, follows the script of males giving gifts to women by sending Andie hundreds of roses in hopes of scoring great tickets. Although Ben adheres to the dating script of sending gifts to the woman, and Andie plays perfectly into the role of the helpless woman who "forgot" her purse, this scene depicts Andie and Ben as equal initiatiors and manipulators in the newly forming relationship. This contradicts the dominant dating scripts present in the media today and serves as a positive example of relationship equality.
"Does Princess Sophia Want To Come Out And Play?"
Andie and Ben have a "sexy night" turn awry because of Andie's over-the-top, staged behavior in the scene entitled "Does Princess Sophia Want to Come Out and Play?" After a nice dinner, Andie attacks Ben and starts to rip his clothing off with a great deal of aggression. She then proceeds to unzip his pants, asking him if his member, which she had named "Princess Sophia" wanted to come out and play. Ben is immediately taken aback and stands up off the couch, asserting that his member should be called a more manly name such as "Spike" or "Kroll the Warrior King."
Andie's forward sexual behavior, which is seen as crazy and ridiculous by Ben and the audience, reinforces the dominant sexual script of men being the initiators of sexual activity in the media. Seal and Ehhardt's 2003 study discusses this script: "Men still play the dominant role by controlling sexual interactions." Andie purposefully comes on to Ben in a strong and aggressive manner as a model of "what not to do" for her sarcastic how-to article. Ben finds this behavior strange and the audience finds it humorous, which strengthens the norm in society that men should be the initiators of sexual activity.
Ben's reaction toward his member being given the name "Princess Sophia" also reinforces gendered norms in the media. Andie is seen as silly and absurd for giving Ben's member a feminine name, which ultimately imasculates Ben and puts an end to the pending sexual activity. Ben's insistence on a masculine, warrior name for his member connects the ideas of strength, war, and power to the image of masculinity.
The Shower Scene
The shower scene: a favorite of anyone who has ever seen How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days. After a weekend getaway with Ben's family, Andie and Ben are finally able to connect emotionally without the interference of their manipulative behavior. After they are finally able to let loose and be themselves, they develop an undeniable attraction and connection that ultimately leads to a steamy sexual encounter in Ben's family's bathroom.
Andie and Ben are not pictured having sexual intercourse, although the viewer can surmise that this occurred based on the sexual scripts present. The scene begins with a tender moment, followed by passionate kissing, removal of clothing, and a shot of the two hopping into the shower together. Andie falls into feminine script of being more emotionally fragile when she tears up and looks at Ben, saying, "Your mom. She really hugged me today." Ben also falls into the masculine, sexually dominant member of the relationship by initiating physical intimacy with Andie by kissing her.
Let's pause for a moment and think about the name of the movie: How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days. That means that the entire course of the movie occurs over ten days, proving that Andie and Ben could not have known each other for much longer than a week, yet engage in sexual intercourse. This reflects a casual attitude toward sexual behaviors that is also mirrored in the media. There is also no discussion of consequences of the sexual behavior, such as pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease. No discussion of birth control methods are mentioned either. Fisher and Kunkel discuss this two studies about sexual scripts in the media: "Sexual precaution messages are very rare, and...to the exlusion of other sexually healthy behavior."
So what?
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, although reinforcing some sexual scripts seen in the media, actualy does a great job of promoting a balanced and shared power of control in relationships. Often in movies, the man is seen planning dates, initiating sexual activity, and controlling most aspects of the relationship. The woman is usually seen as the emotional, inferior counterpart to the male that simply reacts to his advances. However, in this movie, both Andie and Ben are seen as ambitious, smart characters whose intelligence and charm are perfectly matched for each other. They end up falling in love as a result of them both considering themsleves to have the upper hand in the relationship.
The crazy antics that Andie employs to write her sarcastic how-to column feature stereotypical behaviors of women in a comical way. The humor makes the audience able to recognize that these feminine stereotypes are ridiculous, such as women crying over their boyfriend calling them "fat." Andie is seen as cool and confident and helps to pave a new image in the media of women as equals to men. However, what makes this movie great is that it promotes the idea that love has no magic formula; Andie's friend who engages in all the frowned-upon behaviors of women finds a man who loves her for her crazy emotional tendencies anyway.
One shortcoming of the film is its negligence of healthy and safe sexual behavior between Andie and Ben. It endorses the idea of casual sex, as Andie and Ben have sex after a week of knowing each other. It also fails to depict conversation or behavior concerning birth control. This sends a message to the reader that casual, unprotected sex is normal. Overall, the movie tackles many stereotypes and sexual and dating scripts present in the media and makes an effort to change the dominant idea of inequality in heterosexual relationships. Matthew McConaughey minus a shirt just happens to be an added benefit.
Eyal, K., & Kunkel, D. (2008). He Effects of Sex in Television Drama Shows on Emerging Adults' Sexual Attitudes and Moral Judgments. Journal of Broadcasting and Electronic Media, June 2008, 161-183
Ward, M. (2003). Understanding the role of entertainment as a sexual socializer of American Youth. Developmental Review, 23, 347-388.
